Stay at home moms have a very unique "job." We are not on a bosses' schedule. We don't clock in and we don't clock out. We set our own pace and agendas. For someone with my perfectionist personality this has proven to be very difficult for me to grasp and manage. When I first began staying home I felt that I needed a specific schedule. I would spend time making out a detailed schedule that my first daughter and I would follow. "Down time" was even scheduled! I had a very difficult time simply enjoying the blessing of being able to stay home with my daughter. I thought I needed to be in tip-top shape and stay ahead of all things at all times. This is honestly something that I still struggle with today.
God has placed me at home to raise my children during this season of my life. This is where he has set me and is abundantly providing for me to stay here. So many times I have battled discontentment in my heart. I wanted to be doing more. I wanted to be out of the house. I had many many thoughts about what I could go do for a living. Or what could I do to make money and still be able to stay home. Being discontent with God's sovereignty had me very frustrated at times. I wish I grasped this concept more. My place in life right now is truly a blessing. God has always provided for our family so that I could stay home and take care of our children and home. That is his sovereign plan for right now. Later He might have me to be elsewhere. But for now it is at home. Therefore, I should be completely content with that place. Even on the very slow days when things are VERY mundane and somewhat boring. "The LORD reigns, let the earth be glad; let the distant shores rejoice. For you, O LORD, are the Most High over all the earth; you are exalted far above all gods." Psalm 97:1, 9
Oh Lord give me a contented spirit. Thank you for your grace and provision for our family. I am terribly sorry that I have snarled at your sovereignty through my discontentment. May I be joyful and grateful that you have allowed me to be at home with my children and husband.
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